The Poker face
Posted by: wisdomtree on: April 13, 2009
A commentary on the song Poker Face (by Lady Gaga)
We all seek meaningful relationships. Sadly, relationships (and friendships) have become a (poker)game. It is awful to enter into relationships purely by ‘luck’ , ‘intution’ and ‘manipulation’. And then, we keep the other person guessing. We love to keep it that way. We don’t want to reveal our ‘real’ face and ‘real’ intentions. We play the game of love with the poker face.
Sadly, we get see relationships through a hurt perspective. Pain colours our vision. It makes us shrink on the inside. It makes us withhold ourselves. We want to enter into a meaningful relationship and yet we want to withold ourselves. We don’t confess our love because we know it is one big bluff. We like to play it as ‘game’and to keep everyone guessing gets us all excited. Sadly, we deny ourselves of true love, for what is love if it isnt real, excellent and delightful. When we deceive others, we deceive ourselves too.
The hurts and aches (of failed love) we carry is addictive. We enter relationships wanting it to be ‘rough’. We honestly believe, “when it’s love if it’s not rough it isn’t fun, fun“. The more we deny ourselves love, the more we hurt ourselves. And the more we hurt ourselves, we lose the ability to love. It’s a vicious circle.
The poker face is no help at all in real life. Love is self-giving. Of course, you become vulnerable within the relationship but if its a relationship of trust you find love, you find a new you (a me-in-relationship). There’s a lot of difference between ‘life’ and ‘play’. A poker face is of no help if you are seeking love – that is real, excellent and delightful.
Conversations
1) What is this song about?
2) Why do people rely on ‘luck’ , ‘intuition’ and ‘manipulation’ to enter into relationships?
3) “And baby when it’s love if it’s not rough it isn’t fun, fun“. Do you agree with this! Why?
4) “No he can’t read my poker face“. Can this deception lead to self deception? Why?
5) What did you (dis)like about the song? Why?
What’s wrong with me?
Posted by: wisdomtree on: April 9, 2009
Discussion on Three days grace song The animal I have become
Lyrics
I can’t escape this hell
So many times i’ve tried
But i’m still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself
So what if you can see the dark inside of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
I can’t escape myself
So many times i’ve lied
But there’s still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself
Some what if you can see the dark inside of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can’t escape this hell
(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)
So what if you can see the dark inside of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
this animal i have become
The music and lyrics belong to the respective artists and company. The lyrics and video are put here to aid conversations about the darkness within each of us.
Here’s an interesting quote – (about the animal within) to think about!
“Villains with a conscience have this sad realization of who they are, and the monster they’ve become — there’s a sense of regret. So at the end of these movies there’s a dramatic resonance that really stays with the audience.”
—Thomas Haden Church (who played the part) on Sandman in Spiderman – 3
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Conversations ( Discussion questions prepared by Samuel Thambusamy)
1) What is this song about?
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2) What do you think makes us become the animal we’ve become?
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3) How (un)comfortable are we with the animal we’ve become?
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4) Who or what can help us tame the animal we’ve become?
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5) What did you like about the song? What can we (un)learn from the song?
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Coffey Conversation (The Green Mile, 1999)
Posted by: wisdomtree on: April 6, 2009
The Green Mile (1999) is a fascinating movie that makes you cry (even if you are born tough eh?)
John Coffey heals. He bears the scars of pain and punishment that he has borne for others. He infects people with life. He is falsely accused and he is brutally executed…
JC dies… but Edgecombe finds healing and discovers life’s possiblities beyond guilt, lonliness and despair
Who am I?
Posted by: wisdomtree on: April 5, 2009
Who am I? The question of identity is so important.
What if you’ve forgotten who you really are. Worse, what happens if others know who you are while you stay confused about who you are. What happens if you know who you really are! And more importantly, you know who the others really are!
Ever wondered, “Who am I?” An adventure awaits you… if you explore your true identity!
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The Evil Within…
Posted by: wisdomtree on: April 5, 2009
- What are we struggling with?
- Why is it so easy to give in the evil within?
- Who or what can help us fight the evil within?
On Getting Even: Reservation Road (2007)
Posted by: wisdomtree on: March 28, 2009
Reservation Road (2007)
Popular culture feeds on our instinct for anger and revenge. We struggle within to ‘get even’ at perceived injustice. Particularly, if there is a great sense of loss.
How do we deal with perceived ‘injustice’ and feelings of ‘getting even’. The religious message – ‘to forgive’ runs contrary to the therapeutic suggestions offerred by most psychologists. Is ‘letting go’ (expressing) one’s anger and ‘getting even’ a good thing to do?
Reservation Road (2007) is a fascinating film and it takes us through a journey of self exploration and self-evaluation of ‘what we believe in’, ‘what we say’, ‘what we do’ and ‘what we feel’ about perceived injustice and dealing with our natural instincts for anger and getting even.
- What is forgiveness?
- Why do we forgive?
- What does it take to forgive?
- Why is it difficult to forgive?
- Can a transcendent resolution help us?
The film gets us thinking about the making and breaking of human relationships. WATCH IT!
I found this interesting article on Reservation Road: What Would Ethan Do?: Notes on Revenge
Other helpful links
Generation WHY?!
Posted by: wisdomtree on: March 27, 2009
Cinema can function as a ‘mirror’ or a ‘smokescreen’. It can engage us with life’s important questions and/or disengage us from them.
Rock On (2008) engages us in conversations about identity, meaning, morality, and destiny. I found the song ‘socha hai’ thought provoking. In fact, the song raises worldview questions (interesting).
What is a worldview? A worldview is the set of glasses we wear through which we interpret the whole of life. The basic worldview questions are
- How did we come into existence? (Origins)
- Who are we? (Identity) Why are we here? (Meaning)
- How do we know what is right? (Morality)
- Where are we going from here? (Destiny)
Socha Hai (in Rock on) raises worldview questions.
Why is the sky blue?/ Why is water wet? /Why is the earth round? / What makes silk soft?/ What makes fire hot? /Why doesn’t two and two make five? /Why are trees vanishing? / Why do we have three seasons? /Why don’t we have two moons? / Why is there war? / Why flows the red? / And borders everywhere? /Ever wondered…Have you? / Ever wondered what’s this all about? / Ever wondered…? / If you haven’t, then do it now /Why do all rivers flow? / What’s light, d’you know? What makes snow fall? / Why do friends keep falling out? / Why do stars fall? / Why is there lightning in clouds? /Ever wondered…have you? / Ever wondered…what’s this all about? / Ever wondered…? /If you haven’t, then do it now /Silence can’t be heard /And the wind can’t be seen / Ever wondered… have you ever? /Why skies are blue? /Why is water wet? / Why is the earth round? /What makes silk soft? / What makes fire hot?/ Why don’t two and two make five? /Why are trees vanishing? / Why are there only three seasons? /Why aren’t there two moons? / Why is there war? /Why flows the red? /Why are borders everywhere? /Ever wondered… / Have you? / Ever wondered… /What’s this all about? /Ever wondered…? /If you haven’t, then do it now
Worldview questions are important. Ever wondered….!
- Why… is there something rather than nothing? [ Are we merely products of Time + Matter + Chance]
- Why…are we living? [ Life! what's the point?]
- Why…must we do the right thing? [ Are we merely dancing to our DNA?]
- Who are we? [ Are we molecules in motion?]
- Where…. do we go from here? [ Are we heading nowhere?]
The answers we bring to these (simple and yet profound) questions help interpret life. Ever wondered…Have you? Ever wondered what’s this all about? Ever wondered…? If you haven’t, then do it now…
Life is God’s greatest gift! Let’s Rock on!
My life would suck without you
Posted by: wisdomtree on: March 7, 2009
Discusion on Kelly Clarkson – “My Life Would Suck Without You”
Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
What you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight
I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Anyway, I found out I’m nothing without you
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go
Oh yeah
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Questions for discussion ( prepared by Samuel Thambusamy)
1) What is this song about?
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2) Why do you think relationships get strained? What do people do when relationships get strained?
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3)Do you think the people in the relationship knew their problems? What did they do about them? Do they really belong together?
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4) “I know that I’ve got issues. But you’re pretty messed up too”. We are all flawed. How must we sort out issues with others and with ourselves?
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5) Love is not living with someone whom you can live with. It is living with a person whom you can’t live without! My life would suck without you! comment!
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6) We listen to stories of hurt, abuse and pain within relationships. How do we help people who are trapped within unhappy relationships?
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7) What answers does this song bring to relationship issues? What do you think about them?
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What do you like about this song? why?
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There’s more to life than Crushes – Crashes and Crutches
Posted by: wisdomtree on: January 4, 2009
You have spent more time on the tree than on solid ground
There’s more to you than this obsession
- Tom Fairchild in Sabrina (1995)
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Sabrina (1995) is the story of Sabrina Fairchild, the daughter of the Larrabee family chauffeur.The Larrabees are wealthy and own a family business. While she was growing up, Sabrina Fairchild (played by Julia Ormond) spends more time perched in a tree, not just watching the Larrabee family but dreaming of David Larrabee falling in love with her (the crush).
For most of her life Sabrina was invisible behind the branches and spending her life lost in her fantasy. For the Larrabees (most importantly for David), Sabrina is just a daughter of the chauffeur.
As she is heart broken when her dream shatters into a thousand pieces (the crash), Tom Fairchild (her father) tells her (and us): ” You have spent more time on the tree than on solid ground”. How Insightful and perceptive! We follow our dreams, even if they are unrealistic. We are lost in our fantasy and we forget to live. It’s easy to get lost in a fantasy. But, when we come down crashing it hurts and we get broken inside. Tom Fairchild’s words come to us as the voice of truth. We must let go our fantasy and get on in life. There’s more to life than our fantasies. There’s more to us than our obsessions.
Sabrina finds life as she let’s go her fantasy and moves to Paris where she learns precious life-lessons standing on solid ground. Interestingly, the ordinary Sabrina returns to the Larrabee estate as a mature person.
Questions for reflection
1) why is it easy to be lost in the dream world? Why is it difficult to let go our obsessions even if they hurt us?
2) What does it take to realize that there’s more to life than our obsession? Is there value then in our crash-landing experiences?
3) It hurts to let go our obsessions, and more so if we have lived with them for a long time. We look for answers in the familiar and the immediate. Is an escape to somewhere a solution? What do you think Paris did for Sabrina?
4) Tom Fairchild becomes the voice of truth to Sabrina. Truth hurts. When we become the voice of truth, we are often ruthless and we end of truthless. Tom Fairchild is gentle, compassionate and respectful. How do you think this helped Sabrina in her transformation?
Second Chance
Posted by: wisdomtree on: January 2, 2009
- In: Film| success
- Leave a Comment
You don’t throw away a whole life just ’cause it’s banged up a little – Tom Smith in Sea Biscuit (2003)
SEABISCUIT narrates a moving story of friendship and devotion in rehabilitating the main characters’ fractured lives, as it interweaves the interactions between horse, jockey, trainer and owner and their adoring fans. ( IMDb review by Dale Roloff)
God gives us second chance. He helps us to find new direction. He makes all this new. There’s no need to give up. You don’t throw away a whole life just because its banged up a little. The main characters Sea Biscuit (the horse), Red Pollard (the Jockey), Tom Smith (Trainer) and Charles Howard find new purpose and direction in life. More importantly, each one helps the other to fix that which is broken in their lives. As Red Pollard contends,
You know everyone thinks we got this broken down horse and fixed him. But we didn’t. He fixed us. Every one of us. And I guess in a way, we fixed each other, too.
In finding new direction, we help fix the lives of those around us – our friends, family and acquaintances. Go grab life! God offers a second chance…
We just need to become what we are meant to be. Sea Biscuit learnt to become a horse…twice…
It became a symbol of hope… to the Nation…
