I want to know what love is?
– Samuel Thambusamy
We live in a rather strange world that is so confused about our human identity. It’s ‘live for the moment’ and “ Just do it” spirit that drives our passions. Our parties are getting WILD and we define ourselves as PARTY ANIMALS. In the gradual stripping away of our humanness in the way we view ourselves, we have lost our true understanding of what love is. There’s a blurring of lines between ‘lust’ and ‘love’. Worse, Media messages contribute to this confusion by their (re) presentations of love. Can true love seek to hurt?
Take the case of Tanya the girl who was found stabbed in Bangalore little over a year ago. Police report that it was her colleague, the one who was madly in love with her, who brutally murdered her. She was found murdered with 23 stab wounds. And it was supposedly “ all for love”. Was he really in love with her? I wonder how could love suddenly morph into hate? How could you plunge the knife into someone you love? Is it a case of misogyny, which is symptomatic of a macho world?The murder of Shilpa was also supposedly for love. Police believe that Jayanth ( who had a live-in relationship with her) had murdered her in a fit of jealous rage. Does love have an ugly side to it?
Well, it looks to me that it wasn’t love in the first place. We have not grasped the full import of the word ‘LOVE’. There is a shade of difference between “ I love you” and “I love you”. Living in a “me-my-I” generation we live our lives for ourselves, and worse fall in love with ourselves. All we need is a ‘trophy partner’ to go out with, a pretty face to fit our dream world and someone to be our emotional waste-paper basket. Little do we know that firstly, true love is not self-seeking. It gives and gives selflessly. Secondly, True love, truly waits. True love does not grab. Thirdly, True love is willing to let go. It does not impose its will on another person. It does not seek to violate the ‘other’ but seeks to nurture freedom.
Against this backdrop, I found the movie Kal Ho Na Ho very interesting.
Aman (played by Shah Rukh) is willing to let go his love for Naina.
Rohit Patel (played by Saif Ali Khan) is willing to wait for Naina. And both of them give Naina the freedom to either accept or reject their love. Moreover, Shah Rukh is willing to go through vicarious suffering by letting go his love for Naina. Karan Johar’s story telling in Kal Ho Na Ho is absolutely brilliant. It challenges our notions of love. Do we know what love is? Have we experienced TRUE LOVE? Why is it difficult to love someone?
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